More Poking and Prodding....

 ...and I thought I was done with all of that...NOT! Went to the lab this morning for more blood work...this time to check my testosterone and dhea levels (thanks a lot hirsutism). Well, what's done is done. In a week's time I will have my results. They are going to be whatever they're going to be and there's nothing I can do about it now. I can only hope for the best but fear the worst. My OB/GYN (bless him), didn't seem too worried about these results or my facial hair, but unfortunately for me, this does little to quiet my fears (he could very well be wrong, after all). As of now, all of my other hormone levels have come back within the normal range...but something tells me the dhea won't be...(as the facial hair seems to suggest as a strong possibility, not that it is all that bad mind you, most of the time it's not even that noticeable, but still really embarrassing for me as I have to pluck and and bleach hairs. I have some hair on my upper lip, chin, and now some growing om the side of my face. It makes me feel less feminine, and certainly less attractive to DH. I joke to him all the time that I should go off and join the circus as the bearded lady. No, but seriously, not that bad.).

I am worried about the dhea being EXTREMELY high, like off the charts high! And if it is what does that mean? What would be the next step? Would there be more testing, more blood work, etc? Apparently it is common for all other hormone levels to be normal while dhea and testosterone come back high? My biggest concern is that if they DO come back high it will preempt our baby-making plans. The plan is for my OB/GYN to take me off BC and start me on Glucophage next. I hope nothing jeopardizes that, and that he will give me the Glucophage regardless of what these results say. IF I end up having to go for more testing or whatever (which I really hope isn't necessary!), fine, just go ahead and give me the Glucophage while you're at it.

I am not prepared to be asked to give up on my dream (which I would refuse to do anyway), as this dream is too important. The journey to become a mother is the most important thing I have fought for in my 28 years on this planet. I remember when I got the news that physically, reproductive wise, everything was fine, no abnormalities, etc. I am still very happy knowing that, knowing that reproductively I am healthy and that physically I CAN have a baby, but now with the possibility of something else being wrong...I am angry that I am allowing this situation to steal away the joy of what I DO KNOW. I mean, look how far I have come in such a short time? I should not allow that to be discounted.

At this point I am still hoping for PCOS and NOT an adrenal issue (though I have been researching something called Late-Onset Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia which apparently gets misdiagnosed for PCOS all the time due to the similarity of symptoms - facial hair, menstrual irregularities, etc. Based on what I've read it sounds scarier than it is, and apparently infertility is treated in much the same way as it would be with PCOS. Still hope it's not that though. And certainly not Cushings or a tumor!)...but time will tell...and I'll certainly find out soon enough one way or the other. Until then I guess I need to steer clear of assumptions and self-diagnoses (ha!). Hopefully this is just my fear talking and things will not be as bad as they seem. At the same time, the pessimistic part of me says that I have been lucky too many times and at some point my luck is going to run out..

Anyone familiar with the show How I Met Your Mother, knows that one of Barney Stinson's signature phrases is, "When I'm sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead." Now understand that this is a mantra I myself have tried to live by (I even have it as my current desktop background), the problem is, I have been feeling more sad and less AWESOME of late....