What I am Thankful for...

Yes, I know I am a little late on this post, but with the holiday season upon us, I feel the need to take note of my many blessings in life:

 - Above all, I am thankful for my husband and almost 3 years of marriage (8 years together total), years that have been the happiest of my life. I am thankful to my husband for making so many of my dreams possible, he made me a wife, and with him, I hope to fulfill my ultimate dream of motherhood. I hope for many more happy years with my best friend by my side.

- I am thankful for our home; a home that we share filled with so much love. Last spring we embarked on the journey of buying our first home. In true fairytale fashion, we fell in love with the second home we saw and just knew it was the one for us. We had to have it! After going back and forth with the bank for what seemed like an eternity, we closed on the house in May, and finally moved in in late August. This Christmas is particularly special to us because it will be the first one spent in our new home. The house is small and cozy, with a very home-y feel and it is OURS. After 2 years of living with my grandmother after DH lost his job, it feels so good to be back on our feet and have something to call our own again. I will never again take for granted the luxury of having a place to "hang my hat." I like to think that out of every misfortune there is a lesson to be learned, the lesson here is to be thankful for what we do have in life, and to take stock of our many blessings, for each day is a gift. We rose from this setback, from one of the truly lowest points in our lives together as a couple, and look where we are now?! Homeowners!! I truly believe this house was meant for us. At one point in the journey we almost lost it to another couple, but at the last minute their offer fell through and the house was once again ours for the taking. Fate intervening, perhaps? I take it as further proof that this home was meant for us! We went through hell to get this house, it was definitely a time of both great excitement and great stress, but we did it! It has been a fixer-upper, but every project, every renovation, has been soooo worth it! This house has so much potential, and it has been a true joy making it our own. In a home already bursting with so much love, I truly cannot wait until we have a little one occupying the empty room we now call the nursery. I hope to someday very soon walk into that room and stare down not at an empty crib, but at a bundle of joy lying there fast asleep. I can totally see our children growing up in this house, in this nice neighborhood community; calling this home. I can hear the pitter-patter of little feet, and the sweet sound of a child's laughter. I hope that someday soon these things will be a reality, not just wishes and dreams residing in the spaces of my heart. 

- I am thankful for my education and the many doors it has opened for me, doors that I would not have access to otherwise. I am currently working on my Master's degree in mental health counseling. I am once again thankful for the opportunity to fulfill my dreams, and know that it is a true privilege being able to do so.

- I am  thankful for my two pugs, Zoe and Xander. More than mere dogs, these two are part of the family and always provide me with so much love and comfort. They are my babies, my "fur children," and in many ways they have helped to ease the pain of not yet having a child of our own. They love freely, unconditionally, and are accepting without judgment. They are always happy to see me, and are there to offer a lick or curl up in my lap or beside me on the couch when they sense I am feeling the pain of yet another BFN. While it is not the same as having a human child, they have helped to fill the empty space in my heart, and for that I will be forever grateful to them. I hope our children will have the privilege of growing up alongside these two great companions.

Lastly, I am thankful that if I must bear the burden of infertility, at least there are doctors out there that can help me (and women like me) achieve my dream of parenthood. I am grateful to have access to a wonderful RE that I will be going to in January. I am grateful that women today have these options, where years ago options for women struggling to conceive were quite limited. Thankfully today there is help, and most importantly, hope.

I know that for those of use living with infertility, it can be easy to lose sight of all the good things in our lives, especially around the holidays when it is all about children. I know that for me, I get so wrapped up in my quest to become a mom that I often forget about the many blessings I do have. I know the holidays can be incredibly difficult for those of us who are childless, but I also think it's important to put things in perspective and remember those things, even if small, that we are thankful for.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving and wishing everyone a happy holiday season!