Updates!

Wow, so much has happened since I updated last! First off, we finally got our loan so that's wonderful news! After weeks of going from bank to bank and getting rejected due to our "lack of credit history", we finally end up back at our bank where we get pre-approved in less than a day! If only we had just stuck with them initially instead of being so quick to explore other options - I think it would have saved us a lot of frustration and we may have gotten the loan sooner. But we have it now so that's all that matters! Now we are faced with the daunting task of actually finding a house! Speaking of, here comes the really awesome part - turns out the house we love wasn't sold after all (the previous offer fell through), so we ended up making an offer the same day we got approved for our loan! Just heard back from them today - they countered so we countered back. We'll just have to see where things go from here. Hopefully not too much longer now! I find myself getting impatient. Between waiting for the loan and now waiting to agree on an offer, it's just a lot more time-consuming than I anticipated or expected (but I've never bought a house before so what do I know?) I guess the problem is that I am wanting things to move at warp speed and instead they seem to be progressing excruciatingly slowly, ugh! A part of me would rather just offer them the full asking price and be done with it, but hubby wants to see if we can get it for less. I guess I can see the logic in that, especially considering all the money we are going to be putting in - new carpet throughout, new bed/mattress for our room, lawn mower, possible new washer and dryer, stuff to decorate the nursery, and who knows what other furniture we may end up needing, including a TV stand for our 60" monster! And we have to get all the locks changed. - I imagine that we will hold off on most of the furniture - especially the nursery, although that is the room I am really anxious to get my hands on and start decorating, despite the fact that I am not even pregnant yet. :( I don't really expect them to accept less than the list price on the house, but I suppose we can always hope.

Hubby said that I could go ahead and get the nursery ready. Of course, I would stick with neutrals. Part of me wonders though  is it even a good idea? Would it be too painful to have this room fully decorated and ready for a baby but no baby? Would our families think we're crazy when they come over and see that it is all set up and ready to go? Would they not be understanding? And of course the dreaded question, "Are you pregnant?" Plus there's the fact that with what my OBGYN is going to be giving me to induce ovulation, there is a chance of multiple births - so what if we end up with more than one baby?!  I know that going ahead and getting the nursery ready would be painful - a constant, daily reminder of the emptiness in our lives waiting to be filled.  At the same time, however, I think that doing so would be extremely therapeutic and healing.  I can definitely see there are pros and cons to each choice. I wonder if this is something that all women hoping/trying to conceive a child struggle with? I can't even begin to express how thrilled I am just to know that we will have a room designated for our baby - that alone gives me so much hope, just to know that that room is there and waiting for our child.

I really feel that as soon as we move out and get settled into our own home I will get pregnant because there will be so much less stress. I love my grandmother and am truly grateful for all she has done for us - giving us a place to stay when we probably would have been homeless otherwise - but at the same time I feel a young married couple should NOT have to live with their grandmother! As I said, I love my grandmother, but I don't know how much longer I can survive here in the same house with her. She is very intrusive into our business and always trying to stick her nose where it doesn't belong - that gets old after a while. Not to mention that we have ZERO privacy - a hard thing for any married couple, but especially when TTC! My grandmother was there for us when my husband and I fell on hard times and I am eternally grateful for that. If it wasn't for her allowing us to continue staying here and save up for a house after hubby got a job - we wouldn't be in the exciting process of buying our first home now. So, I know what it means and what she has sacrificed for us - We invaded her personal space not only with ourselves but with our two pugs and a cat! I am sure that much like us, she is anxious to reclaim her life - her home - again. I think that at the end of the day that's what we all want - to get our lives back to normal.

I know that in the past I took it for granted when we had our own space, when we were surrounded by our own belongings, when it was just us and we didn't have to watch what we say and do or answer a barrage of questions, and our business was just that - OURS! I can say that after this experience I will never again take these things for granted! I am just so anxious to be in our own space again - to be surrounded by our belongings, to have it just be the two of us again - though hopefully not for much longer! :)  I am just so excited to decorate the whole house and really have pride in our living space - as that is something we have never really had our experienced before. In the past we have always rented, and of course you keep it nice, but there is also this element of not caring as much because it's not yours, you don't own it. I just have so many plans already brewing in my head for our new home. I just hope that everything works out because I don't think I could take being disappointed by another set-back.

In other news, you'll never guess what I received in the mail the other day? A coupon book from Target filled with nothing but coupons for baby stuff - clothes,  furniture, bottles, car seats, etc. - Seriously?! Is the universe playing some cruel joke at my expense?! I felt like I had been punched in the gut when I saw it. Yeah, universe, way to kick me when I'm down. I really have no idea why they would have sent it to me. On the other hand, maybe it's a sign of good things to come! Here's hoping! :)