Need to rant...ugh!

Okay, so remember that house hubby and I liked so much? We went last week to take measurements, etc. Well, we weren't even halfway down the drive when our realtor called to inform us that someone else had made an offer. To make a long story short, I just refreshed the listing only to discover that the house has been sold. I feel so let down right now. :( I invested so much into that house. I was already thinking about how I was going to decorate, already imagining our kid(s) running around, etc. I really am devastated. I can tell you that this will be the last time I get my hopes up about any property. Lesson learned.

We had already been looking at other properties just in case this one fell through, but the thing is, so far we haven't found anything else out there worth getting excited about.  I ask myself how I could have invested so much into a single property that was never a sure thing. Seriously, what was I thinking?! I really should have known better. But the truth is, I did invest in this home; I invested my hopes, my dreams, my future.

Oh well, I should have realized it wasn't going to be easy, as nothing in my life ever is. Seems I am always waiting, waiting, waiting. Waiting for a baby, waiting for a house, waiting for my life to REALLY start. I don't mean to sound like I'm having a pity party (although I guess I am), I am very grateful for my many blessings; I know how lucky I am, and I wouldn't trade that for anything in this world. Still, I can't help but feel dejected. I am tired of playing the waiting game. Can't something go right for once?! Yeah, yeah, I know I need to stop being a Debbie-downer and be thankful for all I do have instead of focusing on what I don't. Easier said, of course. All I can think right now is: I DON'T have a baby, I DON'T have a house....(noticing a general theme here? I'm sure you get the idea...).

I had a very encouraging conversation with my mother earlier. She said not to get discouraged and that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Yeah, I'm starting to become very well acquainted with that notion. Funny (and perhaps a little sad, too), that such a platitude is applicable to many areas of my life right now. Well, what more did I expect, really? My journey to motherhood hasn't been easy so far, and from the looks of things, my journey to house-hood isn't going to be a piece of cake either. Boy, God is really trying to build my character isn't he?! LOL. Seriously, I know that God is still with me, and that it is important to give praise not only in times of good, but times of strife.

 I can't help but feel sad, though. And I believe I am entitled to express whatever feelings I have. Man, I really loved that house. :( Wonder if we'll find anything else we like as much?

I am reminded of these lyrics from a Dr. Horrible song:

"Anytime you're hurt there's one who has it worse around."

Very fitting to the subject matter I think...

P.S. Survived my first week of BC. Only 7 more to go!