The Fat Lady has Sung

Well, AF finally arrived on Friday. This is good in the sense that we can now move on. Bad in that I can no longer live in denial about a potential pregnancy. The first round failed and that is that. I have to say I'm glad AF finally reared her ugly head, because I was getting SICK of seeing BFNs on HPTs every. Other. Day. Talk about torture. And if you think about it, AF sure does have a sense of humor, stringing me along all week and then showing up at the last possible second. Well this chick is not amused. Literally, after I talked to the IF nurse for the second time on Friday, I went home an hour later and discovered that I had begun spotting, only to have AF start in full force not an hour after that. But at least it saved me from the pain and heartbreak of having to begin my week with a BFN, That counts for something right??

So now I am just waiting on a call from the IF nurse to come in for an ultrasound. I was hoping to go in this afternoon and get it over with, but as I live half an hour away and haven't heard from her yet, it doesn't look like today will be the day. The best I can hope for now is tomorrow morning (CD5). I still don't know yet if he is going to keep me on the same dosage this cycle (50mg) or up it to 100. I didn't really notice any negative side-effects with the 50, but an upped dosage may be a different story...

And let's be honest here, at least part of the reason I was hoping to get a BFP the first round was because then I wouldn't have to do anymore of those damned ultrasounds. I've done two already and can't tell you how much I hate them. Not only are they uncomfortable, but just flat out embarrassing. Nothing like being spread eagle in front of your dr. and a few nurses. And when AF is in town....well, that just makes the whole experience a million times worse. You ladies know what I'm talking about. Something tells me though that there is guaranteed to be many more humiliating moments in my near future, so I might as well stop whining and get it over it. Besides, when you're a woman dealing with IF, you don't have the luxury of being modest anymore; any hope of such just flies right out the window. But, gotta suck it up and do what I gotta do.

So, as it is now past noon, it looks like I have narrowly escaped being violated for today; tomorrow, however, promises a much different story. I just realized the other day that June will mark 2 years in the TTC game for DH and I. Oh, how depressing that is. The things we endure for the chance at a happy ending, and I can only hope that ours is right around the corner...