Well, as you might guess, Santa did NOT bring me the baby I wanted. Took a pregnancy test yesterday morning and as usual, BIG FAT NEGATIVE! I don't know why I even expect anything else anymore... In other news, made an appointment with my OBGYN for next week. Suddenly, going to the doctor to find out what's wrong with me is no longer an abstract concept, but reality. Speculation will now be replaced with FACT and TRUTH. I know that once I start down this road there can be no turning back; once I know something I won't be able to "unknow" it. Am I scared, nervous, apprehensive? YES! I could find out things about my body that could potentially change my life forever; for better or worse. Despite the ever-growing fear, however, the quest for knowledge is a powerful motivator. I keep reminding myself that having ANY answers is better than having none at all. I have spent the last two years in uncertainty, it is now time to arm myself with information and take a proactive stance toward solving the puzzle that is my body (more specifically, my fertility). Fortunately for me, I will have the best husband in the world at my side through it all. In the meantime, I am trying to remain positive and optimistic as I tell myself that hopefully by the end of 2011 or before, we will be expecting.
Happy New Year, Everybody! May 2011 hold positive things for all of us!
No comments:
Post a Comment