Why does my body hate me?

Seriously, Why does my body hate me? After more than two months without a period, I start to think that maybe by some miracle I could be pregnant and then what happens, it looks like AF is on her way. It just feels like such a slap in the face, "surprise! I'm here." I was hoping maybe it was implantation bleeding since all it's been is brown discharge since Thursday (sorry TMI), but the cramps are getting heavier so it looks like it's going to be AF in full force. I'm getting really frustrated and still haven't heard from my gyno, I think I'm just going to go straight to the RE at this point. what have I got to lose, right? And hopefully they can offer me a lot more help and answers than my gyno has been able to over the past year. I just feel so sad and hopeless and wonder why I even bother to think positively anymore since it seems it gets me nowhere. I've tried to believe and hope for the best, but I just end up feeling crushed in the end. I've really got to tough it out because things may get worse before they get better. I just feel so heartbroken, and sometimes the longing in my heart is more than I can bear. There are days I wonder if this aching void in my heart, this emptiness I feel, will ever be healed. Sometimes I feel like the world is playing a cruel joke at my expense; that karma, mother nature, the universe, whatever you believe is punishing me because I wouldn't be a good mother. What else am I supposed to believe when it seems that everyone else around me is popping out babies, especially those that didn't even really want them in the first place, and yet they are able to achieve parenthood so easily. well it's obvious I better go because I am being a Debbie downer. Happy Friday and I hope everyone has a great weekend

I will be spending the weekend playing with my new iPhone 4S that hubby and I got today. The 3GS was good to me for a long time, but it was time for an upgrade. We woke up this morning at the butt crack of dawn and went to stand in line at the AT&T store for about an hour, but let me tell you it was worth it because the new phones are awesome! By the time we got there a line had already started forming and people were sitting in folding chairs camped out in front of the store. Man, people really take the iPhone seriously! If there any spelling errors or things that don't make sense I apologize, I am posting this via the voice notation feature, it's really cool! Well, I think that's about it for now, have a great weekend ladies.