Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Well, the previous cycle was once again a bust. Though there is a silver lining I suppose (if there is one I will always find it). For ONCE, I was free and clear of cysts (not counting, of course, the ever present and annoying paratubal on left FT), and was given the go-ahead to begin my 4th round of Clomid 50mg. since we began treatment I have been in the one month on one month off pattern due to nasty cysts developing on my left ovary. Until now I have NEVER done two consecutive rounds of Clomid. Will this increase our chances? Will it make a difference? And so once again we find ourselves in the midst of that ever-persistent phenomenon known as hope. Following the disappointment of a failed cycle I swear to myself that I will never hope again; yet, without fail, I always find myself right back in the same place again; clinging to hope and daring to dream. I"ve no doubt many can relate to what I'm saying here. With each new cycle I think, "this will be the one...this is it." Only to have my positivity rewarded by the crushing weight of failure. I had the highest serum progesterone level I had ever had last cycle -26 to be exact. I took this as a promising sign but alas, it was not meant to be. They did an antral follicle count today at my ultrasound. I think they counted about 16 in each ovary. Are these good numbers? I really don't know much about the indications of antral follicle counts...

We also discussed the possibility of moving on to injectables soon. DH and I decided that because it is cheaper, we will finish out the remaining 3 rounds of Clomid and then move onto injectables if need be. We may not need them, but something tells me we probably will end up going that route. They are so expensive, though and we need to figure out how we will afford the cost and for how many rounds. I believe our clinic offers some financial assistance which we also need to inquire about. Injectables also means production of more eggs which means a greater chance of multiple pregnancy than with Clomid. Personally, I think twins would be awesome...a boy and a girl would be perfect! Anything beyond that, though, and I start to get a little scared. Whatever we end up with though is how it was meant to be and we would feel so blessed to have multiples! I am not picky though and would be happy with just one at a time if that's what's in the stars for us! For those who have done injectable meds, what is the average of eggs produced? Or does it depend on the woman? Also, is IUI with injections more successful than IUI with Clomid alone? We haven't done one yet but the nurse mentioned possibly trying one when we make the switch to injections. So far the IUI with Clomid has not been recommended and I wondered if the reasoning had anything to do with greater success rate using injections. I would think more eggs means increased chance of fertilization.  Luckily, we have a few months to really think this over and prepare ourselves both financially and emotionally for the looming transition that awaits our future.  Until then, I will continue to stand up; embrace hope; and try, try again.

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